I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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