i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
