Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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