Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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