Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
God, I missed his penis.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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