is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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