i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
