Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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