it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
