Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
