): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
