Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Sext me about skeletons
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
