At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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