Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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