he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
