I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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