Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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