I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
