Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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