I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
