I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont even know how to be here
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize