ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
zippers are such a cool invention
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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