I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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