It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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