i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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