and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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