A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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