White coat. Heels.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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