Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Randomize
