the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize