I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
