I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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