Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
