Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
