we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can't put those talents on a resume
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize