fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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