Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
