ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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