Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
two words...techno handjob
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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