i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
