Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
