You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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