I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
