I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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