Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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