the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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