I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize