Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
