mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
