I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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