whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she peed on how many people?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
