Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
