Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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