i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
