Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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