currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
