oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Mom said you looked used
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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