Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize