everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
