The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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