just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
