Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
