OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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