is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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