I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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