You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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