How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
