Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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