Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
