I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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