you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
