You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
