That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am spending my child support on dildos
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
